I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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