Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
