My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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