You're completely useless in the revolution.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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