I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
