he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
