are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Houston, we have a squirter
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
