OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
