Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
