hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
