Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
