There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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