I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My balls are so social today.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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