Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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