So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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