i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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