Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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