So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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