I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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