My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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