he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
