I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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