Where did you get a picture of my penis
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
