Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
