Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
