bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Randomize
