you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
