so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
