Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
