I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
whose parrot is this?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
