tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
