Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
