you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
