'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
