OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
