A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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