everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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