we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I have tasted many bathrooms
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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