You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
