we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
