i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
