it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
