Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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