I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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