I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
