They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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