Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
