if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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