I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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