Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
