Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
