I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
