Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
