I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
