OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
